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My damn fellings

Everybody thinks
I'm crazy
I'm addicted
but this is not like iit is

I'm only hurted
having no more tears
because all I had
belonged to you

You did not
want them
I'd give it to flowers

I ask myself if I will
ever cry again
I think not
perhaps I think wrong

Perhaps I didn't love you enough
and everythink I write is
I don't know anymore

confusion was everytime
a pice of me
desperation, too
the one thing I knew, is that I loved only you

maybe still love you
how I said
Love was the only clear thing
now I am pure desperation

writing makes my soul feel right
and allthough the other think
I'll make out this a Song
to be famous

This is not like it is
I only write down
what I can not say to you
with looking you in the eyes

Many are to read this
so I can
give it to you

Do you think
about what
I said to you?
I don't even know

When you think about it
you don't say
I can understand this
but had you have to go like this?

Without any wourd of Goodbye?
I said
"Well than we stay like this"
Do you really think I will never come back?

Perhaps this is what you want
but I think
also for you
I could not stand this

I will write something to you, sure
This I do often in my dreams
This is what makes me stay alive
although I really want to forget everything

But I can't
It doesn't hurt
we had never(or?) been together
It fells like we had been

How can I make this
not-hurting go away?
had I been childish
to quiet in a strange sens?

I see only one way
to forget you
but how
this is the question

When I think,
I think of you
When I dream,
I dream of you

I feel like I am a stalker
but I'm only in Love
Shall I change myself
DAMN! I only think of me!

13.9.07 15:34, kommentieren

Wrong Thoughts


When I saw you the first time
it seems like everything around me was burning
only you an I
could net feel

I begann to feel my heart
but it wasn't good, it hurts
I tryed to forget
the pain

kissed some of the others
but my heart hurts
like it had been full of water which begann to freeze
and it was short time before breaking

I brought my self
before it was to late
to tell
what I feel

It was wrong

You said, I would have more feelings for you, than you for me
The water froce, and my heard was broken
It brokes to dust
It remakes itselfs, but now it was empty

I suffered for 5 Years
and brought my heard
to hush
It was the hell

But to feel the Hell
is nothing
of feel nothing

I cannot laugh
I cannot cy
It doesn't
belong to me

everything has got it's price
You had have the chance to hold me
but you not even
turned your face towards me

I felt
deeper than everything I ever knew before
in the sea of nothing
in clouds consist of concrete

In love out of hate

All I wanted was love
but how could you give it to me,
when you didn't have it
perhaps only for me not have

Perhaps I said it wrong
too early, too late?
Perhaps it wasn't directly enough
but I was frighted to overstrain your soul

I wanted to ask you if we could stay friends
but you left without a word
like it doesn't belong to you
Right, this had been my feelings,
but they all belonged to you!

This is not to give you the blame
you did nothing wrong
I only thouht you would feel the same
many others thought so, too

We thought wrong

This is no justification nof my feelings

This is pure, innocnt, unreturned


14.9.07 13:47, kommentieren


wenn ihr euch jetz fragt warum ich so verdammt verletzt bin...
ich hab keine ahnung.... er hat mir echt nie wirklich hoffnungen gemacht

aber irgendwie auch wieder schon... ich liebe ihn einfach!
es fühlt sich aber so an als ob ich es nicht dürfte

Darf mann jemanden lieben, obwohl einen derjenige nicht Liebt?

schon wenn ich dass hier jetzt alles schreibe komme ich mir bescheuert vor, und irgendwie auch wie ein stawker...

Es müsste doch eig. vielen so gehen, dass sie einfach vor Liebe nicht mehr wissen, wie sie sie in ihrem Herzen halten sollen....

...und dann bricht es heraus, aber mann kann dem anderen einfach diese gefühle nicht beschreiben, und dann kommt irgendetwas komisches dabei raus...

ich möchte nur noch einmal von dir umarmt werden, aber noch nicht einmal das konntest du mir geben....

....ich sollte es einfach vergessen


22.9.07 02:59, kommentieren